Slashing Jupiter

There are a few circumstances in which a man such as myself cannot be expected to be burdened down by the regular schedule of an aspiring college student. Today was one of those days. It's a simple equation really. Continuous snow storms over any prolonged period of time followed by a break in the clouds equals a perfect blue- bird day with magnanimous amounts of an addicting white drug I call snow. If only I could get a note from Mother Nature excusing my absences.

Since we only had a half day, Dayne and I decided to ride Park City to capitalize on our minimal time frame. Our ultimate destination was to hike up Jupiter Peak on the back side of the resort and catch a few fresh lines.

On Jupiter Access, making our way to the pot of gold.

Our first ascent/descent was a little cloudy, but we caught some untouched lines.

The clouds cleared up and brought a few sun beams our way.

The retreat back down through the resort.

Unfortunately, neither of us are "Kodak Moment" kind of guys. Our moments captures always seem to be pre and post operation shots. I'll work on that. Besides that, it was a successful day. Enjoyed the fresh air, hiked a mountain or two, discovered fresh lines, dropped some cliffs, caught some powder face-shots, took a few epic slashes and celebrated with high fives and fist pumps. Can life get any better?

Taco Tuesday

Taco Tuesday + 3 tacos for $1 = a whole heap of trash!

Fugitive of the Law

Everyone gets the same feeling when they see police lights in the rear view (sinking feeling in your stomach, irregular heart beat, slight momentary panic), because you know odds are you'll be driving away from the situation with ticket that most likely will ruin your day. Truth is, I miss those days of getting off with nothing but a slip of paper with an imposed fee to be paid. My last two experiences of police lights creeping behind me have ended with me driving away, not in my own vehicle, but in the first class luxury back seat of a squad car, adorned with two fancy metal bracelets that so conveniently happen to be chained together.

First Arrest

December 30, 2009

St. Anthony, ID

11:32pm

Most people spend their Christmas break with family and friends anticipating the new year, wondering how they could send out the previous year with a bang! Solution: Get arrested and spend a night in jail. Thats making memories you'll never forget.

On my way back from a cabin in Island Park, ID I was pulled over for excessive velocity in a speed zone. The thick snow storm left the signs completely covered and visibility was minimal, not to mention the irrelevant fact of the freezing temperatures of -25 degrees. The officer asked for the proper documents and retreated back to the warmth of his truck. After a uncomfortably long wait, he came back and asked me to step out of the vehicle. 

"The computer shows you have a warrant out for your arrest." Awesome. And I thought the drive home would be uneventful. He instructed me to place my hands on the hood and put my feet shoulder width apart. After a quick search, he slapped a pair of cuffs on me threw me in the back seat of his truck. At least I wasn't alone, as there was a huge German-Shepard drug dog sharing the back seat. Only a thin chain link style barrier held this man killing machine from eating my face off. For the duration of the ride to the police station, the dog had its nose pressed against the barrier, literally breathing down my neck, and growling every time I turned to look at him. I attempted a starring contest with the beast, but that drove him into attack mode. I made an effort to break further awkward silence with the officer by throwing a few ice breakers at him (conversation starters, not the minty fresh gum). My sarcastic ways did no good at chipping away the barrier over the mans cold dark heart.

I was reminded of a time during my high school days when I shared the back seat of a squad car with my friend Justin Blair. The sliding window to the front seat was open, and there stood vertically a loaded shot gun. As dozens of police officers swarmed around the vehicle, I tried to lighten the mood of our gloomy situation by daring Justin to just reach for the gun. We laughed about the possible outcomes, but luckily he didn't take my dare.

Getting back to the story, I arrived at the Fremont County Jail, where they took most of my belongings (including my shoes), lined up for a mug shot, and waited for a someone to post my $2010 bail. Tayler Heninger proved her loyalty as a friend that night as she endured constant cat calls and teasing from the guards and fabricated a story believable enough for her to finally be able to post bail.

Second Arrest

February 20, 2010

Orem, UT

11:07pm

What originated as a late night run to WalMart to acquire party supplies for a birthday surprise (that rhymes) turned out to be yet another night that I would get more than I bargained for. This time I was joined by a whole mess of friends, all piled in the truck. This only added to the humiliation of the ordeal, and in their eyes sealed my reputation as an "on-edge bad boy/ fugitive of the law/ unlucky" individual. Apparently someone had neglected to remove the warrant for my arrest (the cause of the first arrest, an unpaid ticket) which I had already taken care of months ago.

So after another set of handcuffs and a back seat car ride, another friendship was put through the testing flames. Jeff Faught pulled through and posted bail for me with cash from his wallet (still don't know where he got all that dough).

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am officially a "JAIL BIRD" and/or a "CRIMINAL", whichever you prefer. Feel fortunate to know me, and make sure to answer your phone if I call you late at night... I might need you to bail me out of jail. 

Sprint Coverage (or lack of coverage)

Standing in line at the Sprint store in the mall, I was unofficially introduced to this man.

Sprint offers it customers good coverage, but fails to make the proper coverage available where its needed most.

Catamount Yurt, Idaho

The notorious reputation of spontaneity I have built for myself was tested this weekend. A close friend (who knows me too well) informed me Friday morning of a hiking excursion into the Idaho Wilderness which they had planned for Friday night.
I was almost offended that he had just assumed that he could give me a few hours notice, expect me to drop my multiple and extremely vital responsibilities, pack up my bags and be ready to roll in a matter of hours... but then I realized I was only angry that I had become so predictable (well played Jayson, you know me all too well).
After a 3 hour car ride we had arrived at the trail head, about 9pm. Light snow showers produced a small obstacle, but the real kicker was the infamous Idaho wind, which made it impossible to see farther than about 25 feet into the blowing snow. Prominent land marks were completely invisible and the trail was drifted over, but we pushed on. We spent a few extra hours in a misguided state, but a change in command amongst the ranks led us back to the trail.

After finding the path, we followed it into the trees which sheltered us from the howling wind, and where the trail took a steep uphill turn. We climbed for about an hour before the snow cleared up and we eventually arrived at the Catamount Yurt.

There's nothing better than starting off a morning with a great breakfast, and this trip was no exception. We fired up our camp stoves and served ourselves a 5 star breakfast of pancakes and bacon. As we hiked out, the clouds had cleared and started to settle in the valleys and the sun was out to wish us a safe trip home.

Oh Dang Girl, You Thick!

It's fund raising time for the UVU Cycling Team. We've gone through some trial and error campaigns in the past few months. Selling T-shirts (which is like beating a dead horse) and BBQ Cook-Off's at races (those burgers were heavenly, but you can only sell so many greasy fatty death sandwiches at a cycling event... turns out the demographic tends to be a rather healthy breed). So, we thought the residents of Utah Valley could use some helpful information, like learning how fat they are!
How is this done? We opened up the UVU Hydrostatic Body Fat testing equipment to all the sorry souls willing to pay to be told their body fat percentage (BF%).

The process is simple:
1) Check in
2) Step on the dreadful scale to be weighed and measured
3) Strip to your bare minimums (swimsuits) and hop in the big metal tub full of water
4) Dry off and change while we do some mathematical equations and other smart person stuff
5) Go through the scrutiny of having everyone in the room know your BF%
-Optional step #6) Leave the room holding back tears (j/k nobody did that..... I don't think...)

Now, it's usually at step #3 that the visual BF% test is conducted and its proven to be fairly accurate. Of course we don't ever verbalize the results of the "Ocular BF% Test" but the ratings ranged anywhere from "Too Hot to Handle" all the way to "Oh Dang Girl, You Thick!" (The Ocular Test is for females only).
In all seriousness, we conducted ourselves with as much professionalism as possible. I gained a new respect for doctors, having to be the barer of bad health news. Telling someone that their BF% is a certain number is fine, until it  breaches the "obesity" category (>25% for men, and >30% for women). Being the messenger of the data isn't always a walk in the park, especially when telling someone they are obese is like telling them they've got the HIV or some other STD, and they never knew it. Some conversations went as follows:

"Yeah, so... It looks like you're in the obese category... What's that?.... Yes, obese..."

"Alright, you just joined more than half of the Americans in the Obesity Club!"

"Hey, look at that... you're fat!"

...... Awkward silence.......

Besides the delicate obesity subject, everything else made for a good time.
(Random thing learned today: Breast Augmentations will throw off BF% results as they are extremely buoyant)

Random Daily Log

These are some of the random things accomplished and thoughts I had during the course of the day:

- Concerning the guy in class who won't stop making stupid comments, "You're not a very bright fellow are you. Please, never speak again! You are essentially an oxygen thief."

- In the Library planning to study for a test, "Crap, no internet connection here... I don't want to pack up all my stuff and move... I'll just play a game of RISK instead and try my hand at world domination... Marketing can wait!"

- "What would a man with no arms call an attempted hug? A chest bump? Or maybe a body press?..."

- "Ugh, this sandwich is gross!... I'll bring it home and give it to Jeff. I'll tell him I bought just for him, and maybe it will brighten his day."

- "Why does this Wild Cherry Pepsi taste like a Jack and Coke?"

- I noticed a black suburban swerving in and out of two lanes, cutting off a few cars. As traffic caught up to the reckless driver, I got a look at the culprit. Male, 350+ lbs, right hand in Doritos bag, left hand holding a Little Debbie chocolate cupcake, steering with his stomach... I started to chuckle, but dry-heaved instead...

- "Yup, I'm pretty sure that fountain drink machine mixed some kind of alcohol in this Pepsi..."

- "Why is that guy licking his iphone?"

- Took a test with a construction pencil and art gum eraser... and aced it!