Unhealthy Obsessions

If I had to draw up a list that consisted of the most inconceivably gratifying joys in my life, somewhere among the ranks would be receiving mail, and Samoas Girl Scout Cookies.
With that said, this morning an ordinary mail-man preformed a feat rarely witnessed. In fact, some may consider it unfeasible. A mail-man killed... nay, slaughtered two birds with one stone. A package with my name holding not one, not two but THREE boxes of Samoas (I love my mommy)!
Im not sure that I could properly transcribe my sincere adoration for these tiny delights. I could however explain my general behavior when in the presence of said cookies. I have been known to be rather territorial with them and harbor them from others, not unlike mother bear with her cubs, or Schmiegel with his "precious" ring... 
I've been anticipating this time of year for the sole purpose of indulging in the magical flavors of Samoas. Earlier this year, I got an early craving that had to be satisfied. My lustful appetite led me to what I thought to be a solution to the problem. Dreyers Slow Churned Limited Edition Samoas Ice Cream. It was anything but impressive and hardly satisfying. Dryers only aroused my appetite without bedding 'er back down, leaving me waiting... wanting... Until now! 
Now that the cookie season is in full swing, I've turned over all my cash funds to my trustworthy friend, Jeff. I do this because of my lack of self control when it comes to cookies and impulse buying. If by my lonesome I were to run across a cookie stand with a wallet full of cash, I would get caught up in the passion of the moment and have to explain to my roommates how I lost all my money to a Girl Scout.
Many thanks go out to all who have made this possible. The Girls Scouts for selling them, my mother for buying them, and the mail man for handling the package with such care all the way to my door step.
Nutrition Facts: So far today I have consumed 1,125 calories of Girl Scout cookies, and the day's not over (I've got a real bad case of the midnight munchies).