BYU Graduate.... Wait, what?

My "list of shananigans" is far too long and distinguished to recall each act individually. But, this week marks the One Year Anniversary of one of my better spoofs. Allow me to paint a picture for you.
Its April 24, 2009. The Johnson brothers Shane and Daniel are graduating from BYU, in the Management and Exercise Science department, respectively. Daniel's graduation ceremony is first. Being the good friend that I am, I decided to clear my terribly busy schedule packed with tennis, swimming and of course sleeping. 
To give a short summary of what a graduation ceremony is like- it was like pulling teeth for 3 hours (and I hate the dentist). The very thought of having to sit through yet another one made me want to dry heave. 

So, I thought to myself, "Self, how would YOU transform the next 5 hours of boredom into a memorable experience?" What can only be described as a stroke of genius is what followed...

Yours truly, as a 2009 BYU Business Management Graduate

"But wait, you don't go to BYU. You're not a student at "de Lordz University" (said in a Nacho Libre accent). No, I am not. I am however a extremely cunning, devilishly witty and remarkably persuasive person. Lets rewind the clock about one hour...

Realizing the rare opportunity before me, I decided to capitalize on a once in a lifetime event. I borrowed Daniel's cap and gown, and ran down with Shane to sit with the graduates. We were late (fashionably) and the show was already underway with important BYU people speaking. As we were running around an usher grabbed us. "Are you boys graduating?" (This was it. The moment of no return. I'm either all in or taking the easy way out and sitting through another few hours of horrific boredom...) "Yes Sir, both of us!" (I couldn't help but smile with confidence). "Well, we better get you boys checked in." (Wait, what?)

The old man hastily led us to a booth where two women sat with cards that had the approved graduates names on them. "Name please..." As Shane rattled his name off, I stood sweating bullets, fumbling words in my head. She turned to me, waiting for me to reply. I gave her my name knowing she wouldn't find it in the cards. Crap, I'm busted for sure. She shook her head as she scanned the cards a second time. "I'm not finding your name here." Ding! Light bulb.

I told a little fib. A long, yet very believable little fib. I am not able to reveal my crafty methods of flattery and guile, but by the end of our conversation, we were laughing together as she handed me a card with my name hand written on it, congratulated the two of us and wished us well in our endeavors after graduation. "Sorry for the confusion," she said. Such a sweet lady.

The other graduates were already lining up to walk across the stage. The usher led us to the hallway where they were lined up and told us to hop in line alphabetically. Of course, I didn't want to go it alone. It just wouldn't be as funny. I borrowed a pencil to erase and change my last name to something with a "J" (Shane's last name is Johnson). Changes were as follows... 

Peterson-Jeterson-Jeferson-Jefferson. Eric Jefferson. Perfect.

Being the rather social person that I am, my only problem was seeing people that knew me and knew that I didn't go to BYU. I spotted a few friends and just kind-of tilted my cap to cover my face until I could slip past them. 

Then the moment came. The line led out into the middle of the Marriott Center filled with spectators. Here I was about to pull off the shananigan of a lifetime. I was so excited and proud of myself for having pulled it off. I wore a smile from ear to ear, like the Grinch right before he stole Christmas.

"Eric Jefferson" was announced and I walked proudly up the ramp and onto the stage. There stood the Dean of the Marriott Business School with his hand outstretched. "Congratulations son", he said as I shook his hand. "Thank you sir, I still can't believe I did it." He obviously thought I was talking about all the hard work required to graduate college. 

We turned for a picture (the one posted above) and I walked off stage, chest held high. I was proud of myself.

Turns out, a lot of family friends saw my face on the projector screen and called my parents back home to say how cool it was to see me graduate. That night, a phone call from my dad went something like this...

Dad- "I heard you graduated today!" 

Me- "Well, kind-of, yeah."

Dad- "Why the hell didn't you tell us?!? We would've come down to watch you! Instead we have to hear about it from everyone in the ward?" (Word travels ridiculously fast in Idaho Falls).

Thats right, my parents didn't think twice about the fact that I had "graduated" from BYU. They were just pissed I didn't invite them to the ceremony. I had to remind them that I was not a BYU student and at the time I still had two more years of school before I officially graduated. They eventually had a good laugh about it.

So folks, if you ever have a crazy idea, don't hesitate. Just do it. Whether it works or not, at least you'll have some pretty funny memories to talk about.